


Trauma

by Itshaleighyo



Category: VIXX
Genre: Accidents, Descriptions of Blood, Disasters, F/M, Injury, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:49:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itshaleighyo/pseuds/Itshaleighyo
Summary: I wrote this years ago. I had every intention of turning it into a true full-blown fanfic. I never got around to it, but I wanted to upload it. This is the first draft so there are probably typos and crap. And I wrote all this in one sitting. So I'm almost positive it's rushed and weirdly worded and just - awkward in some spots. Anyway! Here it is!





	Trauma

"Hey," I waved a hand in his face, "Hey" he glanced over at me, dazed, "My name is Lavender, I need you to keep your eyes on me, tell me about your favorite place you've been." This was my life, a rushed blur.

\--------

The fact I'm a trauma nurse in one of the more violent cities of The United States leaves me with little, to no time to enjoy my beautiful apartment in downtown Chicago. I'm on call almost all the time. Not only am I head nurse, but I'm also an interpreter. I speak Korean, Japanese, and Chinese, and the given; English.  
That leads to 14+ hour shifts. I've slept on a cot at the hospital than I've been in my own king size bed. I can't keep food in my fridge because it spoils before I can eat it.  
"You really need to take off for a while. Or at the very least, work shorter shifts." my coworker Courtney complains. I smiled, I've known her for quite a long time. We met outside of a concert venue one cold February day.  
I smiled fondly remembering the day.  
"I'm fine, honestly." I smiled starting to walk past her. "You're Wonder Woman or something, I swear." I heard her chuckle under her breath. "If I were, I'd have a whip." I winked, She scoffed, "It's a lasso you idiot." she corrected.  
"If I were Wonder Woman? It'd be a whip." I smiled, walking away.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was any other day, my pager beeped loudly at my head making me jump up instantly wide awake. I glanced at it,  
GSW-Left Thigh, 19M, Stable.  
slid across the scream, I popped a mint in and chewed quickly. I ran to the trauma bay, grabbing a pair of gloves as I ran past a dispenser and putting them on as I went.  
I walked in and frowned.  
It was a teen I've seen three times since I've been head nurse. Which has been four months, "Drew, how many times is this now?" I asked him walking in glancing at the wound slightly poking at it earning an angry huff from him. "What the Hell's that mean?" he snapped at me, "I don't like seeing someone I've sewn up so often." I frowned, this is the only thing that made me hate Chicago. The gangs, the lives that were taken due to stupid disputes, the senseless killings.  
But I also came here to hopefully help slow the losses. To give these lives a fighting chance. I may not be a doctor, But that's only because I'm a semester short of a PH.D. Debt caught up before I could complete it. So the best I am, on paper, is an RN. A damn good one, but still just an RN.  
"Courtney, can you get me a pair of tweezers and a specimen jar?" I asked politely, and calmly. She quickly whirled around getting the things I asked for. I gathered gauze and a few other things.  
"This is going to hurt. But you know that." I mumbled that last bit, I flushed the wound with saline and stuffed my finger into the wound, hearing him wail, "Drew, I'm going to need you to stop moving, I'm trying to see how close this is to arteries - so unless you want to bleed to death, try not to move." I scolded him, my finger still second knuckle deep. "I ain't trying to, damn!" he curses through clenched teeth. I started to push deeper, and he started to thrash again, "Can I get some help in here please!" I yelled for a few male staff to hold him down so I could feel.  
"Call Dr. Lara, this kid needs surgery this time. The bullet is lodged in the femur and too close to the Femoral Artery for me to safely remove it here. I withdrew my finger and looked at him, very serious this time. "You need to keep as still as possible. I'm very serious this time Drew, this time you could die." I hated being so blunt sometimes, but panic covered his face, fear rose and his eyes glossed up.  
Sometimes they need to be scared to death, to get them to change.

\---------------------------------------------

A while later I learned they removed the bullet successfully, and Drew would be fine. I was relieved. Dr. Lara told me that was a good call on my behalf if I'd have gone poking around with tweezers, I'd have damaged the Femoral Artery and he would have hemorrhaged.  
It was nice being complemented by a superior. But I didn't need it, it was enough knowing the kid lived, and I probably scared him half to death.  
"Hey," Courtney greeted as Dr. Lara had walked away. "Hey- what's up?" I asked as I stuck a pen in my pocket.  
"So, I got a ticket to a k-pop concert..." she smiled, which made me laugh. "Do you realize how long it's been since I've been to a concert, Courtney?" I asked her, trying to remember myself.  
"I do, which is why I'm giving it to you." she suddenly shrugged and walked away without letting me protest, "Excuse me, ma'am." I said jogging to catch up to her, "You can't just force that on me, I have to work." I argued, "Lav, you're ALWAYS working. You literally live here. You need to get out, wear normal human clothing," she poked my shoulder, "do you own anything aside from scrubs?" she asked, humor lacing her tone. "I think so? They probably have Fall out Boy on them though?" I mused, implying it's been since high school since I'd worn normal clothing, this made her laugh.  
"Sheesh, then you need two more days off for shopping." She smiled, "You dirty snot, this was a trap." I finally realized, underhandedly, she got me to accept the tickets, and then implied because I had no clothes I needed to shop. "Yep. I told the boss how much you've been working, and he demanded you take at LEAST five days off." She smiled. "In a ROW?!" I gawked, "Yes, Lavender, in a row." she shook her head.  
"I'm going to be so bored, Five days Courtney, do you know how long it's been since I've been out of school or work for more five or more days?!" I rubbed my forehead, what the hell am I supposed to do for five days?  
Well, Concert is one. Shopping I guess is two, THREE DAYS OF NOTHING?!  
I was reeling, "Sadly no, because you work, all, the time." she scolded. I rolled my eyes.  
"get a cat or something-something to go home to. We love you here, but you're going to work yourself to death. You live on ham and turkey sandwiches, and salads from the cafeteria, and the lounge's coffee pot? That's basically YOUR coffee pot." I felt a little pathetic after hearing all that.  
It's true that I didn't have anyone, or anything waiting for me at home, just an empty apartment with a stunning view.  
"Lav, you're 24, single, smokin' hot," she smiled taking a step back looking at me. I blushed under her gaze, "Stop it." I warned. "You're going to this concert, you're gonna like it. You're gonna love it, you're gonna LIVE IT." she scolded.  
"And you're off the clock now, Boss said today you get the rest off, and then the next five days completely. Get, out, of this hospital, now." she pointed to the doors. I rolled my eyes defeated.  
"Fine, fine, I'm leaving."  
And with that, I was headed home in a Lyft. I dug through my purse finding my apartment key at the bottom with some lint, crumbs, and thread...? Gross.  
I turned the key and pushed the door open, the place was lifeless. I frowned realizing how much I truly loved this apartment. And how much I had planned on enjoying this space. it all seemed like a blur though, it was so long ago.

\-----

I spent most of the day cleaning and asking K groceries to deliver some groceries. I'd decided I'd cook. I'd realized I hadn't even cooked in this kitchen yet. I'd lived here 4 days when I started slaving away at the hospital.  
Why did I do that?

\----

"Yes mom, I'm fine. Big City living! I'm perfectly fine, I'm on the 24th floor, a view of the city and Lake Michigan, the door guy is hot, so that's a plus." I mused, she only laughed, "Your sister misses you." she said suddenly, making my heartache. I chuckled trying to mask the pain. "I've been gone four days and she already misses me?" I asked mom sighed. "I know, It's not the same because I won't be coming home. This is my home now." Maybe she can come visit sometime, I thought to myself. "Well, I'm going to get off here, I love you, tell dad, and Rose I said I love and miss them. I start work tomorrow. So I'll call when I can." I smiled to myself. Keep it together Lav, keep it together. "Alright, We love you too. Keep in touch." and with that, the call was over.

\----

Ahh, that's right, I missed home, and when I worked I didn't remember to miss it. It's been what, a year since then? I've kept in contact, texting when I could- but I haven't talked to them, not since Christmas.  
There was a knock at the door and quickly went over to it, It was the door guy, "Hey Lavender! It's been quite a while," he smiled waiting politely, "It has indeed, come on in." he stepped into my apartment, pulling the trolly with two boxes of groceries. He helped me unload them onto the counter, "If you don't mind me being so bold, Lavender, This place needs a pick me up," he looked at me with apologetic eyes. "And some furniture." he smiled. I looked into the living room seeing a single chair and lamp with a tv. The same TV I'd brought from home.  
I used to brag to my friends when I got this TV, "It's a 40' HD" I'd muse, it was a big tv, but in this bigger apartment, it looked like a toddler's tv.  
I laughed out loud, "You're very right. Maybe I'll go shopping tomorrow." I figured that's honestly a good idea. I needed furniture, I needed to come home more often. I needed to enjoy the dream apartment I finally had the ability to afford. Now the problem is I just need to enjoy it.  
"Would you mind helping me move it all in when I get some things?" I asked him, he laughed, "I like how you ask like I have a choice, but no, I don't mind helping you out." I blushed awkwardly, that kind of is his job. help the tenants move in, deliver their groceries and packages. I felt silly.  
"Thank you," I said finally. I dug into my purse looking for a tip, "Bye Lavender," He said walking to the door, "Don't you dare leave without your tip!" I hollered at him, finding the bill I was looking for, "Lavender, you don't need to tip me, I walked a cart up here, big whoop." he protested, "If you don't take it, I'll- I'll do something about it." the one time I try to be threatening, and that's what happens. He laughed and sighed. "Fine fine. Thank you ma'am." he did the droning of a doorman, "Have a good night my good sir, shoo shoo!" I smiled faking being some snotty rich woman.  
He snorted, "right away ma'am." and hurried out the door, "Bye Rob" I called out my door and he just waved back laughing.  
Time to cook. I put all the food away and then looked through it thinking what to make tonight, I was honestly exhausted, and I really wanted to shower and sleep. "Fuck it, Ramen it is," I said taking a pack out of the cabinet. "Eww, all I have is shrimp." I wined, and it was my least favorite. I called the diner downstairs and asked if they had a table available, they said yes that they'd hold it for me. 

\------------

I sat at a small table alone in my scrubs and ate some of the best soup I've eaten in over a year. I took my time, enjoying it to the fullest. I left a good tip. And wished the waiter a good night. I made it back up to my apartment around 8:30 pm. Seeing the city from this high up, and the sun setting made me remember why this was my dream. I sighed to myself wandering over to the window. "Why would I choose not to come home to this view." I scolded myself.  
My phone vibrated on the counter and on instinct assumed it was my hospital pager and ran to it. I shook my head reading a text from Courtney, 

Incoming-Courtney:  
No, it's not the pager, I took that remember?  
The ticket is for Vixx, I remember the last  
time we went and you had so much fun,  
and they just happened to be coming back  
at the perfect time. Pit tickets, with a VIP  
pass. I owe you at least this. You've helped  
me so much, and this isn't even half of what  
I owe you. The concert is the day after  
tomorrow, at the Rosemont Theater, in-well.  
You know where we've been there enough.  
Please enjoy yourself. And tell BinBin I love him.

I smiled reading the text, I did enjoy that concert so so much. It was my first time seeing Vixx, and boy was it memorable. I always thought Ravi was hot. And Courtney has always been a slut for BinBin.

Re-Courtney:  
I literally can't believe you. What did I do to  
deserve a friend as great as you? I will go, and  
I'll try to enjoy myself. Not that I think that'll be  
hard, this is Vixx we're talking about here.  
I'm not telling BinBin you love him, that classic  
fangirl creep status. Gah, we've been over this.  
XD And Pit tickets; really? You don't ever want  
me back at work, you trying to kill me, that's  
what this is!!!

I laughed hitting send, "Time to take a shower," I mused to myself, "Then bedtime, in a real BED." the thought of a real bed made me giddy. I glanced around, Thank god I'm alone, or that would have been really awkward.  
The shower was heaven. Hot water, where I could take my time and fully bathe. I shaved and even was able to condition my hair. This was so weird. I was in my home, in my shower, with my products, and I'd get to sleep in my bed.  
I felt like I just moved into this place all over again. 

\----

Sleep was great, all five hours of it. Waking up at three am was kind of a headache. The time I'm in a real bed, able to sleep as long as I wanted- my body wakes me up five hours after. My brain is probably thinking I slept through a page or something, so it was worrying. That's pretty bad when your brain knows something's up when you get more than two hours of sleep at a time.  
It was fine though, I got to watch the city wake up, and the sunrise. At about 5:45 am I made myself some eggs and bacon and sat on the floor of my balcony enjoying the early fall smell. though there were few trees, the smell still wafted up making it smell the season. The time for sitting on my balcony will be no more. So I'd better enjoy it now.  
After sitting out there till probably 7:30 am, I decided I'd better get dressed and think if I wanted to go furniture shopping first, or if I wanted to get clothes. I'd decided on furniture because I didn't have to carry that around, I could just have it delivered. 

\-------

I'd been to two or three furniture shops now, and none really fit my taste. I found a nice area rug at the last place, but it didn't have a grippy bottom, so it'd have slid all over my living room. No thanks. I did, however, order some very nice large plants. I feel like they'd do great with the light that comes in. and the fact I have high ceilings, I need something to breach the gap.  
I sighed glancing at my watch. "it's only 10?" I muttered to myself. I rolled my eyes looking across the street seeing a nice modern style furniture store. Hm. "That seems like a nice place." I walked across the street when traffic allowed and took a step in, the furniture was absolutely stunning. There was a beautiful dark blue sectional that I had to sit on. "Ahhh, this is so soft." I smiled and closed my eyes.  
My phone vibrated, making me nearly jump out of my skin. 

Incoming-Courtney:  
So, are you ripping out your hair bored yet?  
Or?

I laughed and took a selfie to send my message.

Re-Courtney:  
I am furniture shopping thank you very much.  
[Picture]

I hit send and stood up, looking at a few other bits of furniture, Against my better judgment, I ordered the sectional I'd first sat on. It had me at first plop, what can I say. Its stainless steel legs were quite nice and I had a feeling it'd make my house feel much warmer.  
My walls were white with blues in spots for accent, so a dark blue would probably look great. My floors are dark wood, So my tables should probably be black, or white. Hm.  
I found an amazing floor lamp that had me googly-eyed, I will admit, but that's beside the point. So, obviously, I ordered it.  
By the time I'd left, I'd bought a sectional, a floor lamp, two kitchen stools, an armchair with matching autumn, a TV stand, two matching bookcases, and two end tables. I figured I'd have to find a rug after seeing all this in my space, as well as a coffee table. Then I'd get the accents whenever because yeah. I just need somewhere to sit and enjoy my home for now.  
I snorted, How am I kidding, I just went hog wild in this store. The upside is, money isn't an issue for how much I've worked in the last year.

Incoming-Courtney:  
Girl, if you got that couch, you're having  
me over for dinner and a movie got that?  
I laughed, of course, she'd say that. 

Re-Courtney:  
Yes, I did get that couch, and once I have  
everything I got set up, and nice, you're  
more than welcome to come over for dinner.  
Maybe a movie, I might not want to share my  
new plush couch~~

Hitting send I realized something, I'm actually enjoying myself. Courtney was right. I need to enjoy myself. I am only 24 after all.  
I gave up shopping for furniture for now, and hit up a few of my favorite clothing stores and got more clothes than I needed.  
I think I came home with five over-sized fluffy sweaters, six pairs of jeans, nine tee shirts, two new bras, five new pairs of underwear, a pack of Walmart socks, because they're socks, they go on feet, I don't need cute ones, a winter coat, two cardigans, and a pair of stupidly comfortable jogging pants.  
I have enough shoes to last me five lifetimes, so those aren't needed. I got home around 5 pm, feeling incredibly hungry.  
"To cook, or not to cook." I pondered out loud.  
If I cook, what the Hell should I eat, what am I in the mood for?  
"ooohhhh, Homemade Curry sounds really good." I mused pathetically, nearly drooling at the thought of it.

\-----

After slaving away in the kitchen for an hour, It was finally done. I sat at the counter and ate a large bowl of it. I smiled, almost feeling the need to cry over how much I missed it.  
I was a junior in college the last time I made this. Around that time is when I started mastering it. I could make it with almost no mess, and nothing burned because I'd learned from mistakes. The curry doesn't take me long anymore, it's the rice. I can't make that any faster because I'd ruin it. The rice has to be done right, or it's gross.  
My least favorite thing about cooking...  
Cleaning up the mess.  
After cleaning and things, it was about 7:45 pm and there was a knock on my door. "Coming!" I called tossing my towel on the kitchen counter, walking to the door. I opened the door see Rob with a trolly and then another man I didn't quite know. Another doorman I gathered by the uniform.  
"I see you took my advice on the furniture?" he smiled looking at the two large trolleys. I glanced out my door and covered my mouth, "Crap, I didn't think they'd be here tonight, I don't have my other things out of the living room yet." I stepped aside, letting them bringing the trolleys, the only thing they don't have is the couch.  
"Uh-um, for now, I guess we could put everything against that wall there, and would you mind getting rid of that ratty chair and lamp? You guys can have them or trash them, I don't mind. I will tip, trust me." I smiled, almost a begging look on my face. The guy I didn't know looked past me at the chair and lamp- "I'll take them, no tip, I've been looking for a new chair and lamp, if I get them for free, what's the harm?" he smiled, and I dropped my hands. "Thank you so much." He smiled and walked his trolly load over to the wall where I'd said t put everything and started unloading things carefully, stacking them with care.  
Once he was done with that, Rob brought in his trolly and asked if I wanted the large plants in the corner too, or I already knew where I wanted them. "Oh, yeah, can you put those on either side of that column?" I pointed to the large support column in the corner of my apartment, he nodded carefully setting the large plants down on either side. I smiled feeling like it was a little homier. I thanked them, and since they wouldn't accept cash, I made each of them a serving of homemade curry, and rice in its own container. "There. That's your tip since neither of you will let me give you money." they laughed and shook their heads.  
"You remind me of my grandmother." the one guy said, suddenly I felt old and weird, "I- I mean that in the best way. Never letting work for nothing." he was red in the face and stumbling over his words. But that cleared it up. I smiled, "Then your grandmother was a chill lady." I laughed, and Rob laughed at me. I looked at the time and jumped a little, "Oh, damn it got late fast." It was already, 9:30 pm. I planned on sitting in line all day tomorrow, so I wanted to get a good rest and get up so I could look nice, and hopefully have a nice spot in line. Though, Because I sleep for five hours, and I'm up, I'm sure I'll be there around 4:30 am I'll get to the venue.  
The guys apologized for hanging around so long, to which I complained that they didn't have to apologize, I was enjoying talking, I told them to make sure to return my Tupperware though. They left, wishing me a good night, and I to them.

\----

Sleep once again left me hanging on the edge of five hours. "Really brain, really?" I wined rolling over to see the clock, 3:11 am it read in bold red letters. I groaned sitting up. My annoyance didn't last long though, "VIXX" I screeched to myself. I quickly hopped up stripping my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower, once out I did my hair, then my make up, and then I stood in my bra and underwear for 10 minutes trying to choose my clothing.  
I decided on an old pair of jeans that were worn and super comfortable, Adidas, and a new oversized fluffy sweater with a tank top underneath it. My hair was straight, with part of it pinned behind my ear, and makeup was natural, aside from the black wing I had coming off my eyelids. Out of habit, and caution, I carry my nursing nametag, with my RN license almost everywhere I go. The fact was, you never knew when something would happen.  
Just out of habit I bought it. Everything would work out, No one gets that violent at a concert, and these are K-pop fans and Chicago-land natives. These people are as cool and laid back as they come. 

\----

I arrived at the venue at 4:45 am, only fifteen minutes shy of when I assumed I'd get here, and I was weirdly the first one here. "Alrighty then. Pepper spray here we go." I always kept pepper spray in my purse, a sad need in today's world.  
I paced around for a few minutes and gave up, sitting down I watched the sky. I'm glad it wasn't really chilly out, but the wind wasn't kind. So I huddled up in my oversized sweater. I guess at some point I dozed off because loud laughter made me come out of my sweater cocoon. I glanced up to see Courtney standing there in her scrubs, face red from laughing so hard, I quickly stood up, clearing my throat and patting my hair down. "What's up?" I asked casually. Which only made her laugh more. "Saying that so casually after I just watched you drool for five minutes" she was wheezing. "Courtney..." I warned. Her laughter started to die down, and she apologized for laughing. "You have drool- drool on your cheek," she choked on a laugh. I wiped my face and glared at her. "Right, sorry," she smiled, seemingly done with her antics.  
"I came down to give you the tickets, I can't believe you came here without them you goon." she handed them to me. A ticket, and a VIP badge. "Put that badge in your sweater till you need it. Or you'll be swarmed while in line." she advised, "I know, It has been a few years since I was at a concert, but I do have common sense." I commented putting the lanyard around my neck and stuffing the badge into my sweater. She sighed, "My baby has her life back on track. I almost didn't realize it was you. Seeing you in normal clothing." I snorted. "But once you did, you couldn't help but laugh your soul out because I was drooling," I stated. "Well!" She was going to offer up an excuse, but I stopped her, "It's fine, My brain hasn't let me sleep more than 5 hours a night, I keep waking up thinking I'm sleeping through a patient needing me." I told her, and her face softened. "You really do need to back off on work Lavender. It's messing with your head. Promise me you'll ease up?" she looked at me.  
I sighed. "Yeah, yeah. I can't exactly enjoy my new couch from the hospital." I smirked knowing, "That's just cruel." she covered her heart, "But very true." We laughed together for a few more minutes, and she told me some of the new gossip circulating in the hospital in the past two days. Some of it had me snorting. "So, because I haven't been at work, for a whole two days, people think I ran off and got married?" I gawked, "Yep, I was like, 'that bitch didn't even invite me!' even though I knew it was fake, I was still displeased." she laughed at herself.  
"Alright Lav, I have to get going. Headed home to get some sleep." I smiled and thanked her again for the tickets, and pass. She waved me off and jogged back to her car. 

\----

The day in the line went unbelievably fast, and I was now being called in for a VIP meeting with VIXX before the show, I walked in and they all smiled and walked over to me. I felt small. I was 5'8" but next to these guys, I felt so small. BinBin was being quiet and only smiling, I asked him if he was alright, and he looked at me stunned. "ah, I speak Korean..." I mused awkwardly as they commented on how good my pronunciation was. "Do you speak any other languages?" N had asked me, "I speak Korean, Chinese, and Japanese," I smiled, "Oh, and obviously English." I laughed, making them laugh too.  
We took a group photo, and I got selfies with BinBin, to rub in Courtney's face, N because he's just, He's N. Ravi because he was Bias AF. The others weren't up for a selfie, but Leo didn't say no, so I asked him, he was such a quiet member, "Can I take a picture with you? Is that alright." he made a sure sound and nodded leaning over next to me, "You're too short to get him in the frame," N commented from the side, I scoffed, "I am tall for most girls thank you very much." Leo took the phone out of my hand and put his arm around me and took one, then two, then three selfies of us together. He inspected them, deleted one, then took it over. Finally happy with it, he handed me back my phone and Ravi snorted, "I've never seen him just help himself like that." He directed that at BinBin, but I understood him, and heard it, even from the distance I was at. 

\----

Finally, it was time for the actual concert. Here I stood, in the pit, everything was wonderful, the music, the lights, the vibe, the smiles they threw off, they had their own gravitational pull. I was finally able to relax and enjoy myself. Until I wasn't. Terrified screams erupted from everywhere, it seemed to be going in slow motion for me- I counted six members scatter as a few beams fell from above- a loud crash left security scattering, ushering guests out, I ran to the danger. This was a natural reflex for me, I couldn't stop the fact people were in danger, and I was needed. A strong arm stopped me and tried to push me away-"Ma’am you c-" "I'm a trauma nurse at Northwestern! Let me though!" I slammed my name tag and license against his chest and didn't wait for an answer.  
I ran through the wreckage hearing wails of pain- hated to say it- but that was good news for me- means he isn't dead, and he's conscious. I tripped over a pipe and landed with a thud next to the source of wails. It was one of the group's members. He was pushing on the aluminum set beam that lay on his shin. I touched his shoulder and he looked at me, his eyes were glossy, but blank, he's going to go into shock if I don't act quickly. "My name is Lavender," I smiled with the best bedside manner I could muster as things still fell from the ceiling, I glanced up to see debris falling and I instinctively leaned over his upper body supporting myself, on one hand, using the other to shield the back of my head.  
Rocks from the sizes of the smallest pebbles to pieces the size of baseballs fell onto my back, I winced in pain feeling one of the larger chunks hit my shoulder- where, if I hadn't been there, it would have been his head. "Keep your eyes on me, tell me about the prettiest place you've traveled to." I smiled, this was my job. Remain calm in times of panic. Be the bolder they need. Keep them tethered to this world.  
He studied me for a moment. "Aus-" he trailed off, "Hey, come on, I wanna know what I'm missing." I chuckled a little, "Australia." he said, I smiled "Ohh, I bet! Was the ocean pretty?" I asked him, he nodded with a slight shine in his eyes. There we go, I thought to myself. After checking if more was falling I sat back looking around I realized I wasn't strong enough alone to lift the beam. I stood to feel a burning in my outer thigh, I'd be fine.  
I yelled for help two members caught sight of my waving arms and they ran to me, they spotted their friend pinned under the beam and began to panic, raising my voice to my boldest Nurse authority that I sometimes had to use in the ER- I got them to calm down, "I need you to go on either side of him, and when I say, I need you to lift the beam carefully." I looked at them and they nodded.  
"Understand?" I asked just to clarify. They went to either side and took hold of the bars.  
"Okay, so this is probably going to hurt, But no matter what, keep your eyes on me," I told him and he nodded sluggishly. I squatted behind him, putting my forearms under his armpits, "Okay, Lift!" They started to lift, I was vaguely aware of his eyes on me.  
I pulled with all my might hearing his wail in my ear- once he was out I laid him back. I ran to his leg seeing blood oozing out.  
"Shit!" I ripped off my belt quickly wrapping it around his leg tightening it enough to stop the bleeding, but not kill the tissue. I pulled the thick sweater over my head and balled it up to put pressure on the wound. I stood tall catching sight of the security guard I'd quickly passed- He was big. "Come here! We need to get him to a hospital now!"  
It was a blur, I remember walking out of the building and climbing into the Ambulance with him keeping constant pressure on his leg.  
Next thing I realized I was stopped, "Lav, oh my God!" she grabbed my arm, "You're bleeding! We have to get you checked out!" I pulled out of her grasp, "Where is he? The one I cam in with?" I asked scanning the hall, "Lav! You are injured!" she yelled, "I'm Fine! Where is Leo!?" I finally yelled loudly, causing her to step back, "He's in the trauma bay." he said calmly. I quickly headed to the bay, only to abruptly collapse.

\----

I'd sworn it was only a second when I opened my eyes. It wasn't, not even close. My eyes felt like they weighed a ton, and my mouth was full of metallic saltiness, saline. I tried to sit up, but I felt like I was abruptly hit by a train. "Oww! Yep, that's pain!"  
"Well, it's good to hear you're up," Courtney spoke as she stepped through the door, adjusting her gloves. I sighed, "Well, what are all my injuries?" I asked making a face, fighting the pain in my right shoulder in attempts to sit up. "I honestly have no idea how you didn't register it when it happened because it had to be painful." she said for a moment staring at me attempting to sit up, "Stop stop, your going to unset your shoulder." I looked at her, "What did I do to my shoulder?"I asked giving up because I was beginning to see stars from the pain. "Somehow you managed to severely bruise your scapula, and you broke your clavicle." her eyes held something like shock.  
"Courtney, why are you looking at me like that?" I was starting to feel my own panic rising. She shook her head, "This is my fault. If- if I hadn't made you take time off work, and go to that stupid concert," - "Hey! I was having the time of my life, and I saved a life. I was meant to be there. I'm so thankful I was, because of Leo...He might have died." I trailed off realizing I have no idea where he is, or how he is. "How is he!?" I struggled to get up again- "Lavender, stop, calm down. Let me get a wheelchair and I'll take you to him," she calmed me down and made me stay put till she came back.  
Why do I need a wheelchair, I'm not that tired? I looked at my feet, Both are still there, I can wiggle my toes. I was confused, I patted around my legs seeking the issue, if there was one, and Courtney was being an overprotective mother hen. But soon I realized she wasn't, I had to bite my lip to keep from yelling. My upper right thigh was incredibly tender. I slowly lifted the blanket to see and it was patched up, so I couldn't really tell.  
"What the Hell," I was thinking I'd actually been hit by a bus after I passed out, I don't remember any of the pain from these? I paused for a second, I do remember stinging in my thigh, but I don't remember when I'd originally got it.  
Courtney came in to see me looking under the covers, "There's still not a penis, I'm sorry." she said fake sadness oozing from her words. "Damn, here I was looking for it too." I looked at her real disappointment on my face. She rolled her eyes, "Even after all these years, that's still a thing?" she laughed as she helped me up off the bed to stand. I hissed in pain as I laughed- "You always thought I was kidding, but do you realize how convenient that'd be?" I nodded my head, jealous of my male counterparts.  
"You're really something else Lav," she shook her head, pushing me down the hall which many of my coworkers said they were glad to see me back, but not like this. "It's not often I work on one of our own, Dawn." I turned my head, "Dr. Lara," I smiled greeting her. "Well, I had to be on that, hopefully, a shortlist." I smiled. She shook her head at me.  
"I was told, that you ran onto a stage where debris was falling because you were worried someone was hurt," she paused; "you are an extraordinary woman, Lavender Dawn." she reached out her hand to shake mine, I obliged, though using my left hand to shake hers because of my injury.  
"I'd call you Doctor, any day. You saved that man's life. Because of your quick thinking, and lack of common sense to avoid danger, he'll live to see another day, and even dance again." my heart, which was threatening to climb out my ear over the amount of worry I had for the idol, finally took a breath and took it's placed, back in its cage.  
I visibly relaxed. "He's awake, His friends are with him- I'm sure they'll want to see you too." Dr. Lara spoke to me ushering Courtney that she'd take over for her. She walked at a calm pace, which left me wanting to stand up and run to the room. But seeing as I'm slightly immobile, and I have no clue where he's actually at, I kind of have to be patient.  
Two things I'm not used to, or good at being, Patient, or The Patient.  
After what seemed to take a month to get to, we neared the room Leo was in, I knew because Korean was heard 15 feet away. I smiled. "Was anyone else hurt?" I asked quietly before we got to the door. "A few fans got hurt, but nothing bad. A security guard has a broken arm. Most have scrapes and bruises. No lives were lost... Thanks to you being there." she ended with a light pat on my good shoulder.  
She knocked on the door and said that Leo had a visitor. I suddenly was worried about how I looked and attempted to check my hair with my dominant arm, "Oh, bad, Don't do that." I scolded myself quietly. Dr. Lara heard me I guess because she chuckled and told me not to do that. "and your hair looks fine," I felt relieved, " for someone who just woke up in a hospital after an accident." she summed up as I was already in the room.  
I deadpanned and looked at her with a forced smile, "Gee, thanks."  
I glanced at the guys and Ravi instantly ran to me and went to hug me, "Ah! She's got a broken clavicle, and her leg has a six-inch laceration. Be easy with her." Dr. Lara stopped him, but he looked at me confused, I chuckled and summed it up in Korean. He looked at me with critical eyes, "Take care of yourself! Why are you here, you should be resting!" he scolded but N calmed him and N knelt in front of me taking my left hand in his much tanner ones.  
"I remember you. Lavender, wasn't it?" N said with a small smile, I nodded. "I'm shocked you remembered my name." I smiled, he looked offended, "He makes it a point to remember as many fan's names as possible." Ken pointed out, "And I just met you yesterday, If I forgot that quickly, I'd be worried about myself," N smiled and poked his head. I laughed, "Plus, Lavender is my favorite kind of tea. It's so calming." He added quietly.  
That made me blush, Ravi chuckled, "N-Hyung, you're making her blush, ease up." Ravi patted N's shoulder. I looked over to the bed to see Leo looking away, out the window. I looked at N with my brows drawn in tight. "How is he doing?" I asked quietly. N glanced back at him, then back to be with a deflated look. He seemed to think for a moment, "Depressed." he seemed to still not be satisfied with that word though, "Defeated." he finally settled on a word to explain how Leo was.  
I sighed and shook my head, "That makes two of us." I whispered. I looked over to the other boys and BinBin had a butterfly strip on his brow, and Hyuk's arm had a wrap around his wrist. My eyes watered, I glanced Ravi and N over, they were alright, and Ken seemed to be alright. Hyuk was painfully quiet.  
"Ravi, can you help me?" I looked at him and he perked up, quickly nodding. I gave him my left hand to help me up, "I want to check on everyone." He started to protest, but I glared at him, and he gave in.  
"You glare like Leo-Hyung, it's scary," he mumbled as I used him for support to get to Hyuk, who was closest. "Hyuk?" I spoke softly, he looked up at me dazed. As his eyes scanned my face till he registered who I was, "Ah, Lavender- uhh," I smiled, "Noona." I confirmed, he smiled bashfully. "Noona, how are you?" he asked me. I bobbed my head side to side, "Eh, a little beat up." I smiled, "what about you, what happened?" I pointed to his wrist, He shook his head, "I landed on it wrong when I dove out... out of the way." he looked down.  
He's traumatized. This broke my heart. "Jellyfish has already canceled the tour, and returned all the money to the fans, including this show's fans," N spoke from the other side of Leo's bed. He seemed to sense my worry. How motherly of him. "Hyuk, hey," I tapped his shoulder lightly. "You're okay now." I needed to make my words stick more. I smiled and touched his cheek, which seemed to ground him.  
I made my way to BinBin who was hardly in a better state than Hyuk, but still not alright. Bin was already looking at me when I walked up to him, a weak smile on his face. "May I?" I asked before looking at his brow. He nodded and turned his head slightly for me to see. "Hm, the butterfly strip will keep that from scaring, It looks very good." I smiled and looked at him the same as I did with Hyuk.  
"How are you?"I asked him, he nodded, but his eyes started to water and I half hugged him from my standing positing and he hugged my middle from his sitting one. I smoothed his hair down and hold him it was okay now. This was breaking my heart. Finally, I turned to Leo, Ken moved from the spot in front of Leo to let me sit. I sat and sighed, blowing some of my hair out of my face. Leo didn't look at me, only past me.  
"Can I, um.." I started, but I wasn't really sure what I wanted to ask. N, the mother he is, seemed to understand instantly. "Common, let's let them talk." N herded the others out of the room. I smiled at N and he nodded giving me a thumbs up before shutting the door. "Leo?" I leaned in my hand. He was still looking past me, "I'm not sure if you'll get mad at me for this, but I'm gonna do it anyway." I poked his cheek and he looked at me his eyes seeming to register I was there, I sat back and smiled. "There you are. Were you in Australia without me?" I smiled and he huffed, seeming to be some sort of laugh. "I told you I was jealous, you can't go without me." I raised an eyebrow at him, "Where were you?" I asked him watching him closely. He looked at the ceiling and didn't look back to me, or grace me with a reply. "Leo. You're safe. You're okay. You're going to dance again. You've got this." I reassured him, but a tear slid from the corner of his eye.  
"Are you in pain Leo?" I asked him, and he blinked but shook his head no. That was good. But I wanted to know why he was crying. "Leo, Will you look at me?" I asked him politely, he didn't move.  
Fine, he wants to be stubborn. I leaned awkwardly on the bed to stand up and I grunted in my feeble attempts to stand without help. The fact it was my right leg, and right arm, left me at an odd disadvantage. I pull with my left arm to stand on my left foot I spin weirdly which is the reason I am currently in the weird position I am. I put my foot down seeing out much weight I can hold on it and I see stars from the pain which caused me to collapse, but before I hit the floor, two strong hands hold me, one on my ribs, just below my elbow, and then my upper arm on my left. "Well, I got you to look at me." I said through the pain, my eyes watered and I chuckled painfully, "Ravi- Ravi!" Leo yelled, causing him to come running in to see my current state, of half, collapsed and crying, and Leo struggling to keep me up. Ravi quickly picked me up from the left side, holding me bridal style, leaving my hurt side with no pressure, which felt great.  
"Leo-Hyung, I think Lavender fell for you!" Ravi smiled, trying to lighten the mood, and I looked at Leo, "You're lucky you're holding her, or I'd throw something at you." Leo said making me chuckle, and wince in pain. "Well, I got you to finally talk." I smiled at him satisfied with myself. I shook his head with a smirk.  
"Lavender, my God, what did you do now," Courtney said as she saw me being held. "I kinda.." I attempted to think of something mild to downplay it, "She fell for Leo-Hyung" Ravi smiled big satisfied with himself. "You're pushing it, Ravi!" I heard Leo from the room and I shook my head.  
"Oh did she now?" Courtney looked at Ravi with a smile. "Don't you start now," I warned but they kept making comments, "Leo, looks like when we are both able were kicking some butt," I yelled past Ravi's head and I heard N laugh, "He said to let me know when you're ready!" N said back. I glared at them, Ravi looked worried, Courtney not so much. 

\------

I was going to be in the hospital for a few days, and after my first visit, the guys wanted to visit both of us but felt guilty when they went to one or the other's room, so, That's how I ended up sharing a room with Leo.  
I laid there looking at the ceiling. The guys had all gone back to their hotel, which made me feel bad. But then I had an idea, I called N's hotel room from the hospital phone, "N, hey it's Lavender." I greeted, "No no we're fine, I just wanted to let you guys know, you can stay at my place. The only thing is, I just got furniture, and it's not placed yet, so if you wanna go do that, that's totally up to you. There's a kitchen, a beautiful view of the city, a bedroom, shower, and you guys won't get bothered."  
He argued that he couldn't take over my apartment, which I argued back that my new plants would die if he didn't. He laughed at my reasoning and agreed to go. I had him come to the hospital to get my keys, and pointed accusingly at them all, "No girls, No parties, and Do Not, lose my keys." I handed N my keys and told him my address and how to get to the apartment. As they walked out I remembered I hadn't been home since before the show, "Excuse my clothes all over the bedroom. You're welcome to my bed if you'd like." I shook my head hearing awkward giggles.  
"That probably came out wrong." I spoke to myself, "I can't believe you let 5 guys into your apartment." Leo spoke from next to me, making me jump because I forgot I was sharing a room. Which isn't normally easy to do unless your roommate is, well- Leo, he's too quiet.  
"You scared the crap out of me Leo," I said holding my chest taking a deep steadying breath. He shook his head. "anyway, why can't you believe I did that?" I asked him curiously. "They're men. And the messy one isn't me." he spelled out that I just let filthy pigs in my apartment. I looked at him fear-stricken, "Please tell me they don't break things?" I asked horribly hopeful. Leo smiled and shook his head no, "Nah, they don't do dishes, N-Hyung and I are the only ones who do dishes. And I can guarantee N-Hyung will be following them all around threatening them to keep the place clean." Leo reassured me.  
"That's the most you've spoken," I said with a smile, He looked away quickly. "I like your voice, it's calming." I smiled and I saw the tip of his ear redden. "Oh- I forgot you blush over compliments, sorry," I said honestly feeling bad. He shook his head and waved me off. I smiled to myself. "Goodnight Leo." I closed my eyes, but I was fully aware of the fact with my arm like this, it was going to be very hard for me to sleep.  
"Good night Lavender." I smiled, he was quiet for a moment, "You can actually call me, um.." he paused seeming bashful, I looked over at him, "My real name is Taekwoon..." He finally said looking at me. I blushed not even thinking about that. "Taekwoon?" I smiled testing it out, his face was red, my only confirmation was a confirming grunt which made me laugh. "Good night Taekwoon," I said again. "Goodnight," he replied.

\----------------

I woke up at some point, hearing he'd knocked his cup off the bed table and silently cursing to himself. "Taekwoon?" I spoke softly rubbing my eyes, he quickly looked up at me, "Ah, Lavender," I smiled, I turned to sit up, I could walk without help now, I was just quite a bit slower, and had a limp. "Ah, you don't need to get up." He spoke, "Taekwoon, I'm fine." I stood and stretched a little, "What are you trying to do?" I asked him, he looked away and cleared his throat. "Bathroom..." he said helplessly, I cleared my throat because if I wasn't so close to him, this wouldn't be a big deal. But the fact I saved his life, find him stupidly attractive, share a room with him, and see him all day now, makes it weird. "I- I can get a nurse..? I started to hobble to the door and he stopped me, "I- If you just walk me to the door I can do the rest. There's nothing to hold onto from here to there, that the issue." he spoke, strained.  
Well, he does pretty much only know me and Courtney and doesn't trust anyone else but us. And Courtney isn't working tonight so I walked over to him, moving the bedside table, and helping him turn his feet to the side of the bed.  
"Okay, ready?" I asked him, he was chewing on his lower lip, looking at his feet. "Taekwoon, Hey," I got his attention to meet my eyes, "Are you ready?" I asked him he didn't know what to do with his hands, I smiled at him, "Hands-on shou- uh, Okay, hands-on my," I cleared my throat. "Okay, let's try it this way," I turned to lean into his right side and his arm was around my shoulders, "Ha, there we go. Two cripples can do it." I made a joke making him smile. We walked slowly because he was in pain, and my leg was starting to burn.  
I needed to start walking on it, and Leo on his if either of us were going to get any better. I made a mental note of that. We made it to the door of the bathroom and Taekwoon had sweat on his brow, and I was worried, "Are you alright Taekwoon?" He nodded, a determined look on his face. I got him to the toilet and told him I'd be right outside the door if he needed me. It sounded weird the more I thought about it. How could something I've said to countless patients seem so inappropriate with just a small level of social interaction? I shook my head hearing the toilet flush, I waited to either hear my name on the door open. I got both, the door opened and Taekwoon called me his hand outstretched I took his hand and led him back to his bed, slowly.  
Once he was back in bed, he was panting. I patted his face dry with a cloth, and then I felt his face. I wonder if he's got a fever? I went down to check his leg and looked at it. It didn't appear to be infected. But his leg was warm as well. I quickly hobbled out into the hallway, catching sight of Dr. Lara, "Dr. Lara, can you check Leo please?" I asked her my brow furrowed, She nodded and jogged quickly to me, then into the room flipping on the lights, catching Taekwoon off guard. "Sorry about that Leo, But Lavender here wants me to check on you." she smiled and looked at me. She felt his face, then looked at his leg, "It doesn't seem to be infected, but it is warm, and he seems to have a fever, did he do anything?" She asked me. "I helped him to the bathroom, and back just before," I informed her. She drew her lips in a tight line. "Was he like this when you started to the bathroom?" she asked me, I shook my head no, "There seems to be something irritating his leg. I'll get him to x-ray and then get him a CT. Make sure nothing's shifted." Dr. Lara said paging some nurses. Within 10 minutes, I was in the room alone.

\----

I must have fallen asleep in the chair that goes next to his bed because I was woken up when the locks on the bed clicked in place. "Lavender. Really. You were hurt too, You need to rest as well. You aren't working." Dr. Lara spoke softly. I looked at Taekwoon's sleeping face. "How is he?" I asked ignoring her previous complaint. She only sighed at me. "There was a clot, and the bone shifted. I've fixed it, it wasn't set right by the doctor that set the bone, So it wasn't your fault. He has a catheter in now, so he won't need to get up to go to the restroom. He needs to stay off it till his stitches come out at least." I frowned. "What Doctor did the first operation?" I questioned angrily, She shook her head, "Lavender..." she put her hand on my shoulder. "Rest. He's equally worried about you. He wouldn't stop asking if you were okay. He was so frantic during the x-rays, we had to knock him out then. He's getting anxious when you aren't around." she smiled looking at him, "He's grown attached. You save his life, you keep him company, you keep him grounded, and you've just saved his life again. You're this man's angel." she glanced at him.  
"Get some rest, Lavender." I sat there and watched his chest rise and fall. Attached? Taekwoon to me? I could almost laugh, but I was the face he saw when he was paralyzed with fear. It's not farfetched, not at all. I've seen this happen at least 10 times in my nursing career.  
I leaned my head on the edge of his bed thinking. Welp - shock I fell asleep. When I woke up there was a weight on the side of my head. I opened my eyes seeing N and Ken sat at the foot of the bed in chairs waiting quietly for me, or us to wake up. They both tapped away on phones. I stirred and N looked up with a smile. He took the weight off my head, I sat up and stretched my neck to see N put Leo's hand back onto the bed. He's sleeping still, or again.  
Apparently, Leo's hand was what was in my hair. "What time is it" my throat was so dry it came out as a cracked whisper and I covered my mouth shocked at the sound. Ken glanced at his watch "9:08 am" I groaned and rubbed my eyes. "How'd you guys sleep last night?" I asked them, N's face changed, "Your apartment is absolutely stunning. I was shocked by the view." Ken was smiling ear to ear. "I put the furniture where I figured would look best and function best. I also cleaned up the laundry in your bedroom and bathroom. They're in your clothes basket." My face went slack. "I am so sorry." I covered my face embarrassed. N laughed, "No, that's the most pleasant thing I've had to pick up in 4 years. Believe me. It was better than post-dance practice clothes from 5 other guys." his nose wrinkled up thinking about it. "Ravi has taken a liking to your gym in the building. Hyuk has planted his butt on your couch and taken control of the Xbox. Ken Likes to sit in the armchair by the window and read. I loved your kitchen, I also ate some of your Curry you made, I hope that's okay. It was very good. I'd like to learn how you make it." I smiled feeling glad they're enjoying it. "What about BinBin?" Ken looked at N, and N looked to his lap. "He sits in the shower till the water runs cold, and then he lays in your bed." N looked apologetic, but I was worried. "Is he able to sleep?" I asked N shook his head. "Nightmares." Ken said, pointing to Taekwoon, I looked and he was slightly moving his head, his eyebrows were drawn in tight and he was mumbling, "Jesus..." I felt so bad, "Leo," I nudged his shoulder, "Leo." I said a little harder, putting an open hand on his shoulder shaking slightly, "Taekwoon!" I said loudly, his eyes flew open, and took my hand in his. "Thank God, Thank God," he kept repeating it over and over, "Taekwoon, you're alright. I'm right here. N and Ken are here to visit." He looked at the foot of the bed and I did too, seeing shocked faces. Taekwoon quickly removed his hand from mine and cleared his throat. 

\-----

The visit didn't last too long. N talked about my apartment, and how the guys were doing. He also demanded Taekwoon try my curry which Taekwoon looked way too excited about. "I haven't had curry in a long time." He thought hard about the last time. "It was Thai curry though." he pondered. "I make Japanese Beef Curry." I smiled, "Do you add mushrooms?" he asked, I nodded. He smiled, "I like mushrooms" N laughed. "He's always weird, I'm sorry." I shook my head. I liked that.  
"Lavender, can I talk to you for a second?" N asked me standing up. I nodded and followed him into the hallway. "Dr. Lara told me what happened last night. That's twice you've saved Leo's life. There's no way we can repay you. Even after the first. There's no way. I'm also really worried about him." N concluded, "Why's that?" I asked, "We are to fly back to Seoul tomorrow, and Leo can't go with us. He has to stay here till he's able and healthy enough to fly that long of a distance. That's the only reason We were still here. Making sure we healed up before flying. So I'm going to have to burden you some more." N said rubbing a hand over his face. He's obviously tired.  
"Leo has to stay here in the states, and he won't have you guys, I'm the only other person he's close to. He'll also need somewhere to stay once he's healed up enough to be discharged." I knew where this was going. "N, it's fine. He's gotten anxious about it when I'm too far from him for too long. Dr. Lara said last night he kept asking for me. So, I'd assume this was the result." I told N, and he smiled and shook his head. "You really are his angel, Lavender. You're his living, breathing Lavender Tea."


End file.
